Rape is an unlawful sexual activity that involves having intimacy or sexual intercourse without the valid consent of a person or group of persons, while a rapist is any individual who forcibly engages in sexual activity with another person without his or her consent.
According to the center for disease control, over 1.3 million women are raped each year in the United States and only 54 % of these cases are reported. Every 98 Seconds, a woman is sexually assaulted in America and a women’s chance of being raped in the United States is 1 in 5.
In Nigeria, there is a high prevalence of rape. A survey conducted by NOI Polls revealed 7 in 10 adult Nigerians representing 67% think there is a high prevalence of child rape in the country while 31% personally know of a victim of child rape in their local communities. The picture is bleaker in South Africa where 65,000 rapes and other sexual assaults were reported in a single year.
Another country where rape has become an epidemic is India, but due to public perception, the humiliation of victims, and social stigma only 5-6 % of rape cases are reported, as such the problem of rape in India is largely underestimated due to the number of unreported cases.
Rapists display certain tendencies, knowing these tendencies will enable a potential victim to prepare an escape plan ahead of time before it’s too late. The days of allowing insane men to deposit their contaminated and diseased semen into your body are over. Click to SEE How to Successfully Defend Yourself Against A Rapist
How to Spot A Rapist
How to Spot A Rapist # 1: They are Usually Male Supremacists
Most rapists especially male rapists see women as a lesser gender and often demand compliance even at times when it is most inappropriate. They are traditional believers in the superiority of men over women.
How to Spot A Rapist #2: They Are Short-tempered and Aggressive
Most rapists are impatient, short-tempered, and aggressive with a high tendency to physically or verbally assault others during arguments or conversations. CLICK TO SEE 7 Things Sexually Transmitted Diseases Destroy
How to Spot A Rapist #3: They Make Frequent Negative Reference To The Female Reproductive Organ
Most rapists have rewired their brains to see verbal assault on the female genitalia as their strongest weapon as such when provoked by females they turn to vulgarity to get even.
How to Spot A Rapist #4: They Violate Your Personal Space at Will
Most rapists on ”heat ” will not respect your personal space some will come very close and the daring ones could even place their hand inappropriately on your thigh, chest, or other sensitive parts.
How to Spot A Rapist #5: They Always Want to Isolate You
Although most rapists are publicly friendly they tend to always ignore your wishes and often try to isolate you from friends or members of your family.
How To Recover From Rape Trauma
Step 1: Open up about what happened to you
It can be extraordinarily difficult to admit that you were raped or sexually assaulted. There’s a stigma attached. It can make you feel dirty and weak. You may also be afraid of how others will react. Will they judge you? Look at you differently? It seems easier to downplay what happened or keep it a secret. But when you stay silent, you deny yourself help and reinforce your victimhood.
Reach out to someone you trust. It’s common to think that if you don’t talk about your rape, it didn’t really happen. But you can’t heal when you’re avoiding the truth. And hiding only adds to feelings of shame. As scary as it is to open up, it will set you free. However, it’s important to be selective about who you tell, especially at first. Your best bet is someone who will be supportive, empathetic, and calm. If you don’t have someone you trust, talk to a therapist or call a rape crisis hotline.
Step 2: Cope with feelings of guilt and shame
Even if you intellectually understand that you’re not to blame for the rape or sexual attack, you may still struggle with a sense of guilt or shame. These feelings can surface immediately following the assault or arise years after the attack. But as you acknowledge the truth of what happened, it will be easier to fully accept that you are not responsible. You did not bring the assault on yourself and you have nothing to be ashamed about.
Step 3: Prepare for flashbacks and upsetting memories
When you go through something stressful, your body temporarily goes into “fight-or-flight” mode. When the threat has passed, your body calms down. But traumatic experiences such as rape can cause your nervous system to become stuck in a state of high alert. You’re hyper-sensitive to the smallest of stimuli. This is the case for many rape survivors. Flashbacks, nightmares, and intrusive memories are extremely common, especially in the first few months following the assault. If your nervous system remains “stuck” in the long-term and you develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), they can last much longer.
Step 4: Reconnect to your body and feelings
Since your nervous system is in a hypersensitive state following a rape or assault, you may start trying to numb yourself or avoid any associations with the trauma. But you can’t selectively numb your feelings. When you shut down the unpleasant sensations, you also shut down your self-awareness and capacity for joy. You end up disconnected both emotionally and physically existing, but not fully living.
Step 5: Stay connected
It’s common to feel isolated and disconnected from others following a sexual assault. You may feel tempted to withdraw from social activities and your loved ones. But it’s important to stay connected to life and the people who care about you. Support from other people is vital to your recovery. But remember that support doesn’t mean that you always have to talk about or dwell on what happened. Having fun and laughing with people who care about you can be equally healing. Participate in social activities, even if you don’t feel like it. Do “normal” things with other people, things that have nothing to do with the sexual trauma.
Reconnect with old friends. If you’ve retreated from relationships that were once important to you, make the effort to reconnect. Make new friends. If you live alone or far from family and friends, try to reach out and make new friends. Take a class or join a club to meet people with similar interests, connect to an alumni association, or reach out to neighbors or work colleagues.
Step 6: Nurture yourself
Healing from sexual trauma is a gradual, ongoing process. It doesn’t happen overnight, nor do the memories of the trauma ever disappear completely. This can make life seem difficult at times. But there are many steps you can take to cope with the residual symptoms and reduce your anxiety and fear. Take time to rest and restore your body’s balance. That means taking a break when you’re tired and avoiding the temptation to lose yourself by throwing yourself into activities. Avoid doing anything compulsively, including working. If you’re having trouble relaxing and letting down your guard, you may benefit from relaxation techniques such as meditation and yoga. Be smart about media consumption. Avoid watching any program that could trigger bad memories or flashbacks. This includes obvious things such as news reports about sexual violence and sexually explicit TV shows and movies. But you may also want to temporarily avoid anything that’s over-stimulating, including social media.
Take care of yourself physically. It’s always important to eat right, exercise regularly, and get plenty of sleep—but even more so when you’re healing from trauma. Exercise in particular can soothe your traumatized nervous system, relieve stress, and help you feel more powerful and in control of your body. Avoid alcohol and drugs. Avoid the temptation to self-medicate with alcohol or drugs. Substance use worsens many symptoms of trauma, including emotional numbing, social isolation, anger, and depression. It also interferes with treatment and can contribute to problems at home and in your relationships.
How to help someone recover from rape or sexual trauma
When a spouse, partner, sibling, or other loved one has been raped or sexually assaulted, it can generate painful emotions and take a heavy toll on your relationship. You may feel angry and frustrated, be desperate for your relationship to return to how it was before the assault, or even want to retaliate against your loved one’s attacker. But it’s your patience, understanding, and support that your loved one needs now, not more displays of aggression or violence.
Let your loved ones know that you still love them and reassure them that the assault was not their fault. Nothing they did or didn’t do could make them culpable in any way. Allow your loved ones to open up at their own pace. Some victims of sexual assault find it very difficult to talk about what happened, others may need to talk about the assault over and over again. This can make you feel alternately frustrated or uncomfortable. But don’t try to force your loved ones to open up or urge them to stop rehashing the past. Instead, let them know that you’re there to listen whenever they want to talk. If hearing about your loved one’s assault brings you discomfort, talking to another person can help put things in perspective.
Encourage your loved one to seek help, but don’t pressurize. Following the trauma of a rape or sexual assault, many people feel totally disempowered. You can help your loved one to regain a sense of control by not pushing or cajoling. Encourage them to reach out for help, but let them make the final decision. Take cues from your loved one as to how you can best provide support.
Show empathy and caution about physical intimacy. It’s common for someone who’s been sexually assaulted to shy away from physical touch, but at the same time, it’s important they don’t feel those closest to them are emotionally withdrawing or that they’ve somehow been “tarnished” by the attack. As well as expressing affection verbally, seek permission to hold or touch your loved one. In the case of a spouse or sexual partner, understand your loved one will likely need time to regain a sense of control over their life and body before desiring sexual intimacy.
Take care of yourself. The more calm, relaxed, and focused you are, the better you’ll be able to help your loved one. Manage your own stress and reach out to others for support. Be patient. Healing from the trauma of rape or sexual assault takes time. Flashbacks, nightmares, debilitating fear, and other symptoms of PTSD can persist long after any physical injuries have healed. To learn more, read Helping Someone with PTSD.
“From New Delhi to New York, from Durban to Rio; women and
girls are being hunted down by rapists, abused by pedophiles and
emotionally decapitated by a society that is becoming increasingly
hostile to the womenfolk”
― Oche Otorkpa (author of the Unseen Terrorist)
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